Well... Quarantine made me do it.

I sat watching the waves yesterday, day 3 of quarantining on the fair shores of Lanka. Watching them is I found a bit more productive than my attempts at meditating. They soothe, take thoughts away until you are left with what you set out to have during meditation = no thoughts. 

then a coconut from the tree that leans over the water drops and coconut begins a slow dance of what I thought not too far from what  looks like life. being pulled in different directions by forces outside its control. Then someone comes along, rescuing it, and carries it away with his dog in tow. again outside it's control.. My attention now drawn to the dog frolicking in the waves, I smile, thinking of Charlie. I wonder who walked past the house today and set off his barks. and smile more as I think if his midnight zoomies. 

I went to the hammock with my book, watching the waves I dozed off for what seemed like at least half an hr, but was only few minutes. I wake up to see a monitor lizard. It too watched the waves and moved away after sometime. But not before it caught the resident young human's attention, who dragged her mother - so she could peek from behind mum. They go off for a walk and I return to my book. 

After lunch I watch a tiny hermit crab, either inspecting a new shell or moving into it. I point it to the little one and she squats about a meter away pushing hair out of her eyes. big beautiful bright eyes. with which she shot lasers at me the day before, I have no idea why. As we watch the crabs I don't get lasers, but no smile either. I am hopeful for today. I am told she turns three next week. With her mum, we watch the few crabs that are moving about, the ants and the dog.  

During a stroll around the pool I discover a few orchids. I think I shall take a dip when the sun's not too shy to show it's face a bit more. For now I am content with watching the rough monsoonal sea and the rain.

Late afternoon visit to the hammock was cut short as the wind picked up, howling through the trees and the open corridors.  I attempted some Netflix but soon grew tired of it and settled for a nap. 

A couple of calls add to the beauty of the day. and with a happy heart I made it an early night.

Early this morning on day 4, I went down to watch the waves and to see if any shells were on shore. I see no shells but dirty oily looking froth on the water and some plastic washed ashore. I think of the leached pollutants and the impacts from the ship that burned and has now sunk beneath the waves. Rain that's lasting till now arrives and I get back inside the building.

senseless senses

why don't we talk any more
conversations without words
used to convey so much
now only a silence fills the distance
so near yet so far
so deaf that the other's call does not reach you,
are we really living?

reaching out,
no one to recieve
the outstreched hand waits
an eternity passes, hoping
maybe in the next second
some one might caress the time wrinkled faith.
so blind to each other that you cannot see
are we really living?

I want you.. do you know that?
I am in front of you.. do you see me?
I am trying to hold you.. do you feel me?
I am speaking with you.. do your hear me?

a lost soul looking for her blue..

NFAK

Listening to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan's songs. wonderful stuff. just the heady mix to get you lost in music, urself.

'One' calming:



can anyone tell me the meaning of the verses?

A butterfly that wants to flutterby..

I want to travel. I've already begun listing the countries and places I'd like to go..it seems to be an insatiable appetite. This is something I feel I need to do. to grow. to push my comfort zone a little further.

I've already begun dreaming.. catching glimpses of a suitcase in a motel room with the slanting rays of the setting/rising sun touching the floor, a fountain with the 'sala sala' of water, of churches so old, a lazy hour in bed knowing I don't have anything pressing that I have to get up to attend to, a leisurely walk, a book, some camera moments, laughter, sunshine and some rain.

Lost in my own world, I wait for the wind
to carry me farther
upon a bird's wing
or even a fish's back.

I want to go -
to a place where
time seems like a stretched canvas
waiting for me to paint.
my own masterpieces, at my own pace.
for the rain to bathe me with the wind to dry
and to be lulled by the moon light
waking up with the sun kissing away the night.

washing away the balmy dripping of my heart
The blue blue water that fills my dream
of longings that have no end no start
wave upon wave crashing the shore
like the sands thousands of me abound
different faces to be worn
a thousand smiles around.

all of us in our capsules
walking through time.
like unfolding a present
from somewhere the thoughts come .. to have to listen to hold to cherish to learn to cry to kiss to touch to play to share to walk to release to travel to see to feel..

to be.

Sisterhood of the Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses

At the most unfortunate event I got to meet all of my maternal side's female cousins. specifically my uncle's daughters. And two of their friends.

Let me mention before anything else that I happen to be a very late arrival so much so that I'm only a few years older than most of the offspring of these cousins. Plus I'ven't (double apostrophe..double apostrophe!!!) had the chance of spending time with these cousins as they've been abroad. I only got to see them during their visits to SL and that too only a few hours' exposure. Now, I met my cousins..and spent arguably the most time we've ever spent talking/sharing with them.

What amazed me /drew attention first was how crazy they were. Good crazy. Make you laugh forgetting where you are kind of good crazy. Sometimes school girl crazy. These are 50 something (one or two almost 50) highly enthusiastic funny beautiful women with kids & careers. Now I must admit I hadn't given my cousins -male or female- much thought. Much less to the fact what happens/how one feels about turning 50.

Now, so far in my life, I've seen women who are nearing or having entered the 50's moaning about one or more of the below:
-Children
-Children with exams on the horizon
-Children's marriage
-aches & pains & newly discovered ailments
-family problems

To top it off, haven’t seen many of them laugh out loud.

I am sure my cousins and their friends have enough & more of the above mentioned issues and I am sure they must moan about it but they had a much more positive side to them. And here I thought (for however mini seconds the thoughts lasted) that becoming >50 was boring and full of maladies. HA! to me.

Maybe it was the emotional force/vulnerability of the event but I'd like to think that I formed & felt a stronger bond with these lovely women. Being married and not so much part of the 20's club could be the reason. I felt like I belonged.. To a certain generation. So, here's a big hug to all of us.

Grrrrrr!!!!!!! God!

Funny blueprint this god has for life on our planet! Good people will not remain for much longer on earth where they are needed, but the not so good ones who are of no use just making others miserable will have a long and healthy life. [so much for this apeshit of karma, although I think I do believe in it to a certain extent which I blame on my circumstances of upbringing. ]

God really must have a LOT of kangaroos loose on his/her top paddock. seriously, what else would account for this joke of a plan for people. I find it it bloody hilarious when people say that god takes back the people he/she like (i.e. good people) soon. Hell, if god liked 'em so much why send them away in the first place? must be a real clueless clod. "God" GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

For Ranjan, Chandra, Teacher, Emmi & Paarthi.

------

காற்றோடு கலந்தீர் அண்ணா
நமக்குரிய தளங்கள் வேறாய்ப் போனது.
தங்கம் களவு போனதென்ற என் கனவு
உமது கிளம்புதல் குறித்ததென்றே எண்ணிக் கொள்கிறேன் - நீர் தங்கமல்லாமல் வேறென்ன?
காலத்தின் ஆட்டம் ஓய்ந்ததின்பின்
ஒருநாள் சந்திப்போம்
அதுவரை,
உமக்குப் பிடித்த இடத்திலோ இடங்களிலோ
கைநிறைந்த இனிப்புகளுடனும்,
முகம் நிறைந்த உமது சிரிப்புடனும் சுகமாயிரும்.

On the Olympians' Parade

It's all well that there are so many parades around the country for the Olympians. What I am have been wondering since I saw the confetti filled parade in Sydney is that why the organizers couldn't wait till the Paralympians returned home with their successful campaign.

on the Olympic note..

London Olympics Handover Ceremeny (part1) - WTH!?
London Olympics Handover Ceremeny (part2) - WTH!?!?
above all... the logo for the London 2012 Olympics ( I know I am late in mentioning it..) WTBH!?!?!? Who designed that ugliness ultimate in Logo world???