What's this wet stuff they call rain?
by: Josh Massoud in the Daily Telegraph

RAIN:n. Water in drops falling from the sky to the Earth, being condensed from the aqueous vapour in the atmosphere.

Lifted from the Macquarie Dictionary's `disused words' version, the above passage has Sydneysiders apprehensively eyeing the heaven. Previously thought to be an extinct phenomena in NSW, rain is predicted in Sydney tomorrow. The State's Bureau of Meteorology's forecast last night sent historians scrambling thru' dust-encrusted annals to inform unprepared citizens how to react if and when the rain arrives around midday.

Bureau forecaster Satya Kishore warned the rain would be preceded by an equally unfamiliar weather feature known as clouds. According to Mr.Kishore, the clouds will gather above Sydney early tomorrow morning before issuing rain drops for several drops near the coast. Those in affected areas are asked not to contact Police to report missing shadows as these are assured to return when the clouds clear on Friday. Similarly, homeowners should not believe garden plants are ill if they turn a shade greener because of the rain. But exposed persons and infrastructure might get wet.

Motorists have been requested to familiarize themselves with their cars' rain-prevention system. Dubbed by some as the vehicular appendix most automobiles are still equipped with windshield wipers. Measuring approximately half a metre in length, these twin blades serve to remove droplets from the windscreen, thus enabling the driver a clear view of the road. Found on the bonnet-and in the rear in more expensive models-the wipers can be operated by flicking a perpendicular lever located on the bottom left-hand side of most steering wheel shafts.